It’s been awhile since I have blogged. I have been so caught up in the changes my life has been seeing that I simply haven’t had time. For those of you that look forward to reading this, my deepest apologies. It’s been a few months.

Most the time, when I blogged before, it was because something was going wrong in my life that I felt the urge to vent about and to help others refrain from making the same mistakes I had been making. I wanted to give my reader’s a heads up, a place to go for advice, a chance to realize that someone else may be going through what they are experiencing. I had hardly noticed I quit blogging until several of my readers brought it up to my attention. It was then that I realized maybe I was making some kind of difference or giving someone a glimpse of hope, advice or an ability to relate and realize that they are not alone.

In terms of what has been happening in my life, I figured I would throw another post in about change.

In the past few months I have relocated to a bigger city and have had experiences that I never imagined impossible. I have made several mistakes in daily happenings for instance: taking the wrong color of the El (or is it called the “L”…another thing I can’t understand), not understanding what the center track means. I have experienced waking up earlier in the morning to catch a train and not being able to rely on myself and my independence for getting somewhere I needed to be. I have met people, upon people upon people, each with a new and unique personality. I have moved five hours from my family. I have reconnected with friends from my past and couldn’t be happier. I have started a job that, in the beginning, had me beyond frustrated because I had no idea what I was doing but now it’s turning into something I love and can see a big future in. I’ve had to go back to taking classes and taking tests (something I haven’t done since high school). I have almost mastered the O’Hare airport scene (and I mean almost) and for a girl who used to be fantastic at directions and can get somewhere again if I’ve been there once….I could never live without my GPS (we now call her Dolores).  I have had my fair share of crazy cab drivers, crazy people and the ultimate people watching. I have seen poor, homeless, rich and fancy. I have mastered the art of walking the city streets in heels, with only twisting an ankle once. I have fallen for someone and gotten hurt, only to stand back up and brush myself off once again. I have realized what it means to be respected and trusted and to expect that from those you surround yourself with. I have realized that if you’re not getting respected, to walk away from the situation because you deserve better. I have realized that I am becoming a “grown up” who finally has her shit together.

All of the above statements are things I have considered changes in my life. Good, bad, indifferent. Everything has been a new experience, or an old experience dealt with in a different way. Without these changes in my life, I wouldn’t be in the mind set, or the person I am today. I wouldn’t be able to make the decisions I make on a daily basis. With these experiences has come good times, bad times and indifferent. I have laughed it off, cried it off and worked it off (thank god for the gym).

Many people think change is a bad thing, and I used to be one of those people. The more I think about it and the more I live my life, I’m starting to believe change is positive. Who wants to live the same old life every single day? Who wants to live through the same experiences, day in and day out, only to turn around one day and think “hmm, I never really lived my life.”

So maybe you don’t want change. Maybe you’re scared the change may be for the worse. And it may be. There is no telling that. But at the end of the day, change is the experience you need to live the next day, and the next day and the day after that.

A big thing we all run into is not wanting other people to change. Wanting people to stay the exact same as they are. Unfortunately, we cannot control this and believe me, I have tried. Unfortunately people do change. Every single day people are modifying the person they are. The only thing you can hope for is that is a modification for better. Many times, it’s not and they become someone you knew, not know. When that happens, the only thing you can do is trust in the higher power (whichever it is you believe in) and that know this happened for a reason. This person was not meant to be in your life either forever or just temporarily. Either way, the change happened and it’s time you deal with it.

At the end of the day the fact of the matter is, change happens. Good, bad, indifferent…it’s a part of life. Each change is a new experience that helps shape the person you are meant to be there’s no going wrong with that. You decide how your life is going to turn out. You decide what to take from these changes. You can either sit and wallow in self pity, or get up and experience all life has to offer. So live today and experience every change you can…I promise you it’s worth it.

The closer it gets for me to be moving away (further away) from home, the more I realize just how important the concept of home is to me.

Born and raised an Iowan…and EXTREMELY proud of it, I could not be more grateful for my homegrown roots. I know that a lot of my friends, including myself, receive grief for being from Iowa, the “boring” state, but little do you know just what we are about.

We may not have a professional sports team. We may not have a huge theme park and only have Adventureland instead, we may not have tall skyscrapers, a subway system or a huge stadium. We may have more expensive cab rides, but cheaper cost of living. We may not have world famous bars, restaurants or hotels, but we do have Templeton Rye. We don’t have a Trump Tower. We don’t have a Westin. We have cornfields, agriculture, fantastic education and wonderful people. We were also one of the first states to legalize gay marriage.

I cannot tell you the number of times people have asked me where I’m from and when I say Des Moines, they ask, “where’s that?” Well it’s home of the Iowa Caucus if you haven’t turned on a TV recently. Des Moines happens to be the capitol of IOWA (for those of you who didn’t pass 3rd grade), home of the fantastic Iowa State Fair where you can eat all the fried food you want. Des Moines, home of the Iowa Cubs & Iowa Energy. Des Moines is home to some of the best mom and pop restaurants I have ever tasted. Des Moines, to me…is home.

Now that I’m moving to a quite larger city, Chicago, I find it even more important to remember where it is I came from. Many of us Iowans, at least some I’ve realized from experience, tend to forget where they came from. They tend to forget the friendliness of being an Iowan. How we are respectable to all kinds of people, how or Iowan/Midwestern ways is to be friendly and nice to anyone we encounter. I remember a few months ago I was walking the streets of Chicago and I politely said excuse me and let someone cut ahead of me. I received the question “where you from?” I said “Des Moines, Iowa” proudly. I then received the best compliment I could ever receive “You Iowans are always so nice and friendly. It’s nice to have that in bigger cities.” That is something I will never forget.

Before I make this next drastic move of my life, and before any of you make yours. You don’t have to be an Iowan native to be reading this. I want you to be proud of your roots and proud of where you were born and raised. Wherever it was, take that to heart and make that part of who you are.

You may not always know where you’re going, but you will always know where it is you came from. Be proud of that.

I think change is intriguing. I think change is scary. Change is mysterious, hopeful, exciting…it’s all different kinds of things. I think when you know when a change is coming, it’s a flood of different emotions that you never expected to happen.

In the short 11 days of 2012 my life has taken drastic turns. In 11 short days, I turned 23, celebrated like I was 21 again, realized that some people I will never need in my life again. I realized there are some people in my life that I wouldn’t be able to live without. They support me, no matter how hard it may be for them, and they are there for me…at all times…every single day. I realized what it feels like to have to tell your boss that you adore that you’re leaving in two weeks. I understood how it felt to tie up 16 million lose ends before moving on to the next thing. I realized that I will be an extra 2.5 hours from my family…something I never imagined before (and to be honest, hasn’t hit yet). I will be 5 hours from my hometown, my closest friends that reside there. I will be 2.5 hours from my closest friends in the QC…those people I can call at any time of the day and they will pick up. I realized that sometimes, change happens so quick that you have to learn to not stress out about it and let things unfold as they may.

Now, I spent the past two-three days thinking, re-thinking and over-thinking every single little aspect of my life. Which, in turn, stressed me out even more. Yes I’m moving to a big city, the city I have been working to get at since the beginning of my junior year of college. Yes, I’m finally getting the opportunity to live my dream out…and to be honest…it scares the shit out of me.

I’m one that usually embraces change. I take life as it comes, straight with no chaser, and try not to plan more than a week ahead. It didn’t occur to me that this big of change would be happening so quickly.

Two weeks from today I will be moving into my new apartment, in a city completely unfamiliar to me (yes I know people there, and streets…but thank the Lord for GPS right?). Two weeks from today I will be starting a completely different life, away from those that have sheltered me over the past how many years. Two weeks from today will be the first day of the beginning of my dream. A dream turned into reality.

Now the object of this post isn’t to brag about the opportunity I have been blessed with. No. It’s to motivate those that have a hard time finding out what they want in life.

I have always wanted to live in the big city, to work in the big city, to just thrive in the big city. If you would have asked me six months ago, where I see myself in 2012…I probably would have said here, in the Quad Cities, or in Des Moines doing something or another. Now, do I have any idea what is I want to be when I “grow up?” Hell no. I’m 23 years old and I still don’t know. But the important factor for me in this decision I made is that I knew where I wanted to BE. And nothing was going to stop me from that.

I’ve always been fortunate enough to have family and friends that support my above and beyond dreams…as unattainable as they probably seemed. Those that told me I couldn’t do it, that I wouldn’t do it…I was the girl who said “watch me” and in two weeks I can say “see? told you so.”

Before I get into my rant, I want to thank all of you who supported me. Who believed in me, who gave me the confidence I have needed to succeed. Sure, there are going to be many, many tough times ahead…but I know that no matter where I’m at or what I’m doing, I can call on you for support. I will be forever grateful for that.

My hope for all of you that read this is that YOU too, can reach the dream you want. Work hard for it, every single day. Pick something that you want to do, or somewhere you want to be, and don’t take no for an answer. True, it may not come in the blink of an eye, it didn’t for me, but after six months of hard work and dedication, it will be paid off. Have the courage and the urgency to follow your dreams, to be who you want to be, to go where you want to go. Don’t make excuses for not being able to attain a dream. No money? Work hard enough to make some. No connections? Network and find some. Use the personality traits and the life lessons you’ve lived through to push you further.

Reach for something and take hold of it. Don’t take no for an answer. Don’t use the word can’t. Don’t stop pushing. Don’t stop reaching and most importantly…don’t stop dreaming.

“We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes.”

It’s that time of the year again. Christmas came and went in the blink of an eye, and we are left preparing for the turn of the new year. Many people put a lot of pressure on the new year and the parties that surround it. Who am I going to kiss at midnight? What party am I going to attend this year? What dress am I going to wear? Believe me…these thoughts cross my mind every time someone mentions NYE. We get so caught up in the thrill of what the night is supposed to mean, we forget to reflect on what it really means.

As the new year approaches, I urge you all to take a look over the past year. It was a long one for some, a short one for others. A full 12 months went by in the blink of an eye for me and I’m grateful to say that I’m ending this year on a much higher note than I ended 2010.

This year has been a year of changes for myself, personally. My dad lost his job, but regained a new one just a month ago. I graduated college and was forced to grow up, get a job and start living my own life, without the shelter of St. Ambrose University and my parents. I have met wonderful people at Jumer’s Casino & Hotel and through our corporate. I am proud to say I am an employee there and am grateful for the experience they have given me thus far.

I remembered what it was like to lose a loved family member, (Uncle Mike, R.I.P…I know you’re up there watching over all of us), I realized what it was like to find out who your true friends were. I experienced losing relationships and friendships that I never imagined losing and I was able to gain closer, stronger friendships that will last a lifetime. I have realized that no matter how far away some friends are, or if we don’t talk every day, I am blessed to know that I can pick up the phone & have everything be like normal.

My best friend of 18 years got engaged to a wonderful man and I couldn’t be happier. Their wedding will be one to remember and I am blessed that she picked me to help her experience it. I’ve watched my brother compete in half marathons and have never been prouder. I have watched my closest friends struggle with relationships and heartaches. I have witnessed some of the greatest concerts I have ever experienced (Dave Matthews Band Caravan=amazing).

I have travelled to Chicago, the city I love, several times and every time have been more and more impressed. I have spent time with my family and relatives near and far, and realized that the older I get, the more I appreciate the time I spend with them. I have spent the entire year of 2011 single and focusing on the person I am and the person I want to be. I have had my heart broken, several times, but have come back stronger in the end.

But one of the most important factors I’ve realized after this year is that I have finally found out the person I want to be and I have changed and modified myself to be that person, and I have never felt better.

Not every year is a good one, we all know this. Days, weeks and months can be a struggle just to get up and get going with your life. The most important factor I’ve realized in 2011 is that you create your own happiness and you, yourself, are in charge of your own life. You make your life what you want it to be. If you want to sit and wallow in self pity, you will be miserable. But if you decide to look past the negativity and focus on the positive things we receive every single day, it will make your life much easier and much happier. We create our own destiny. Releasing the negativity is one of the most important things I’ve learned in 2011. The beginning of the year wasn’t an easy one, but I realized that I could sit and feel sorry for myself or I could get up and start living my life. I have not regretted that decision.

If you take anything from my blog at all, I hope it’s this…be grateful for a new beginning. The clock strikes midnight and you have a brand new chance to start over and to fix things that you have been wanting to. Create resolutions and make it a point to stick to them. Start off the new year with a change. Fix what you have been wanting to fix for the past 12 months. Work on the things you have been wanting to work on. At midnight, we are lucky enough to have this chance to turn things around. Appreciate the loving people that surround you and let go of those that bring you down. Cut the ties of those that use you, abuse you and want nothing but to make themselves look better than you. Focus on the ones that have been there through everything, those that you can call at anytime of the day and they will answer. Focus the new year on yourself and your loved ones.

Let the strike at midnight be a reminder of another chance. Let 2012 be the best year yet. Let go of the past because what’s done is done, and there’s only room to focus on the future.

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and it’s first chapter is New Year’s Day.” -Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Here’s to 2012…let’s make it an unforgettable one.

‘Tis the season that I normally take a step back and realize just how much things have changed in little under six months. Most of my friends are currently still in college or in their last semester of school, going through finals, presentations, writing papers and pulling all nights. I’m fortunate enough to have passed that stage in my life, but I remember just how difficult it was.

Social media is blowing up with “3 down, 1 to go,” “wish I would have studied more this semester,” or my favorite “biggest test of my life,”…as to while it may seem like the biggest test of your life, I hate to burst your bubble…it’s not.

We, as a society, especially those in school (and I did it too) put so much pressure on these things called finals. I’m not saying you shouldn’t study for them or work hard at it…I’m just saying take a step back and remember…not everything is as important as it seems.

Granted, my major was fairly easy. My finals consisted of more papers than tests and for that I am fortunate. But it pains me to see how much pressure some put on this week of school. I think it takes a lot away from what this season is really about.

At the end of the day, you’re going to give it your best shot…and that’s all you can truly ask for, in any situation really. Whether it be a final exam or a real life sceneraio. If you go into the situation confident that you are going to give it the best you can…you can hope for the best outcome, but you can’t determine it.

I think a lot of us get too caught up in every day life and worry about the little things when we should be focused on the big picture. ‘Tis the season for friends and family, isn’t it?

The year is ending and a new one will turn (don’t worry, I’ll definitely be blogging about the new year next week or so) but sometimes we are too worried about things that we can’t control, that we lose sight of what we can. Maybe you didn’t ace the final, maybe you don’t have enough money to buy the ultimate Christmas present…but on the actual holiday of Christmas (or whenever you decide to celebrate it)…does that actually matter? No…it doesn’t.

What matters is that you are surrounded by the people you love. Friends, family, strangers…but just for one night and one day, have you ever noticed just how peaceful the world is? Why we don’t take advantage of that more often, I have no idea.

As the semester ends, or as the year ends (for those of you who read this that aren’t in school) take time to focus on what really matters to you at Christmas. It isn’t what is wrapped in pretty little bows under the tree, it isn’t if the turkey or ham is cooked right or how much money it will take to fill up the tank to get to the in-laws. It’s not about the little stuff you can’t control. It’s about being with the people you love, rejoicing in your religion (whatever that may be) and thanking whoever you thank for a chance to have a warm roof over your head and family and friends to celebrate this holiday with.

So since the holiday is just around the corner (and it truly is) I urge you to focus on love, peace and happiness instead of the next holiday party, what’s wrapped under the tree or anything else. This day only comes once a year and in a blink of an eye, it’s typically gone. We don’t know who will be left with us to celebrate the next year, so take advantage of those you surround yourself with. You only get one Christmas a year, and this one may be different than last, and next years may be different this this year…but don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the love, the joy and the happiness you receive in your life. Put the cell phone down and spend time with those that are present with you. I urge you to take a quiet moment to yourself and realize just how peaceful the world is on Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from my family to yours.

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, instead of all of us focusing on what we don’t have, I think it’s time to focus on what it is we do have and what we can be thankful for come Thursday.

Now, this will be a different vibe to my blog. Recently, it’s been either negative or (hopefully) influential when it comes to relationships. But I urge you to all to forget your problems, if just for this week, and focus on the positive things that you may take for granted every day. Maybe some of the following will help you shed light to that positivity.

I’m thankful for…

I’m thankful for my parents who have shown me what true love is. They have shown me what is like to love unconditionally and without fail. They have showed me it is possible to have a healthy, stable relationship. My parents have blessed me with a loving home, have given me a college degree & let me live off of them for 22 years of my life. They have never let me take that for granted and have always been there at any point in the day if I needed someone.

I’m thankful for my mom who has been my best friend my entire life. We didn’t get along well in highschool but since I began college, she has been my go to person. She has helped me see rationally and speak logically. My days where it’s just me and her are my favorite. We never have a dull moment in a conversation.

I’m thankful for my dad who has the exact same personality as me. We get in tiffs sometimes but it’s only because our personalities are too much alike. He has been my coach and my number one fan. He has believed in me when I haven’t. He is the rock to my family and supports our family and I have never been more proud to be his daughter.

I’m thankful for my brother who is my other number one fan. Ever since he left for college our relationship has grown. He made me tough when he used to beat on me as a kid and I will always thank him for the strength I now possess. He is my best friend and I’m blessed to have him in my life to hang with, talk to, party with & eat with. He has come so far in his running and training that one day I hope to have the same motivation.

I’m thankful for my relatives, those I speak to weekly and those I don’t…on both sides. When we get together as families, I am blessed to see how much love can fill up a room. Yes we get crazy and yes I now know where the strength of my liver comes from ;) They make the good times unforgettable. I don’t see/talk to them as much as I should, but I know I can count on them for anything. I’m lucky to have such a big family.

I’m thankful for my friends, my rocks and my support system. The true friends have stayed with me the entire time, through my phases of negativity, breakups and the mood swings. They have always been there to call on and I know at any point of the day I can text, call or heytell any of them. My friends have shown me just what a family away from home is like & without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Several I don’t talk to on a daily basis but I know we can pick up where we left off. I feel blessed to still have friends from grade school and high school & I know those friendships will never falter. My high school friends know my history and have seen how much I’ve grown. My college friends were my family away from home and they are my people. Without them my past four years wouldn’t have been the best of my life. I know that no matter where I end up in life, all my friends and I have shared such great memories, good and bad, and that will carry on for the rest of my life.

I’m thankful for the opportunities my life has given me. I’m thankful I was able to attend a four year college, play a varsity sport & experience the ups and downs. I’m thankful I have been through three knee surgries because without those, I would not have the strength I have today. I’m thankful for my professors and teachers who have taught me not only about school material but how to handle real life situations. The Communication Department at St. Ambrose never gave up faith in us seniors and we all ended up okay :)

Although sometimes I hate it and sometimes I love it, I’m thankful for my job. I have the opportunity to make money and be good at what I do. And although, I know, it’s not my dream situation, I know that this will give me the experience to fuel me to the next big thing.

I’m thankful for my faith in God. It hasn’t always been there but nonetheless, it’s back and for that I couldn’t be happier. He has gotten me through many struggles in my life, especially the past few months. Without Him I wouldn’t have the positive outlook on life I do today.

(and if you have ignored the past couple paragraphs, I beg you to read the next):

Most importantly, I’m thankful for the negative people in my life, the hard times and the bad days. Without the negative people in my life, I wouldn’t be who I am. They have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be and that has fueled my fire to me a better and more positive person. To stand above the rest. I’m thankful for those who have degraded me as a person and who have disrespected me. Without those people I wouldn’t have the strength I have today. Without those people, I wouldn’t know what it means to have true friends and a true support system. Without those people, I wouldn’t have learned what I want in life. Without those people, I would be the same person who was walked all over in high school. Without those people, I wouldn’t have the strength I have today.

I’m thankful for the hard times in my life. Those hard times were never easy, but I never gave up and I’m thankful for that. When the going got tough, I got tougher and I wouldn’t be where I am today without the hard times. Things haven’t always been easy for my life. I never started a varsity college game, I started few varsity  high school games, yet, with my perseverance and strength I worked my ass off to get a college scholarship. Without those people who told me no, who told me I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t have a four year degree and received a job a month after graduation. For those who told me I wouldn’t amount to anything, or that I wouldn’t ever achieve my dreams, watch me. You have pushed me to prove you wrong, to show you what hard work and perseverance can do. Without experiencing all the hard times I have had, I wouldn’t know what good looks like.

I’m thankful for the bad days. I’m thankful for the days I didn’t want to get out of bed, for the days I didn’t want to answer my phone, for the days I didn’t get much sleep because I was up late thinking the night before. Those days shaped my mind and heart. They were all learning experiences. Without those bad days, those times when I couldn’t bear to go on, I wouldn’t be confident in the person I am.

Now you don’t have to read any of the above. You probably don’t even care to know what I’m thankful for. But the reason for this post is that you can realize how thankful you are for the things, people and experiences you have witnessed so far in  your life. Everything, every piece, every moment, every person has touched your life somehow. You are who you are because of your yesterdays.

It’s time to focus on those things you are thankful for. The things you take for granted. It’s time to focus on the positivity, the happiness and the good experiences you can have each and every day.

Not every day is going to be the best day of your life. That needs to be accepted. But I promise you, if you have done what I’ve done lately, and taken into account just how thankful you are, you will view life a little differently. Be thankful, if not always, at least this week. And with the motivation from a friend’s post…choose positivity, choose happiness. You are the only one who can turn your life around. The choice is yours….choose wisely.

The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren’t paying attention to before. -Good Will Hunting